Why You Shouldn't Book a Magician for Your Wedding Reception

Here's Why You Shouldn't Book a Magician for Your Wedding Reception - a satirical look at why hiring a magician is bad news

3 min read

Why You Shouldn't Book a Magician for Your Wedding Reception
Why You Shouldn't Book a Magician for Your Wedding Reception

Why Hiring a Wedding Magician Might Be the Best (or Worst) Decision You'll Ever Make

Congratulations on your wedding! It’s shaping up to be a stunning day—impeccably arranged flowers, a menu worthy of Michelin stars, and a dance floor primed for some questionable yet endearing dad moves. But there’s one thing you probably haven’t considered: a wedding magician. Gasp! The very thought of a magician wowing your guests with mind-bending tricks and leaving them astounded—could you possibly allow that?

Let’s break it down. Here’s why hiring a magician for your wedding reception might just be the worst (read: best) idea ever.

1\. Your Guests Might Have Too Much Fun

Imagine this: your guests, instead of politely waiting for their next course, are laughing, gasping, and thoroughly enjoying themselves. A magician roaming between tables, dazzling with close-up tricks, might just turn your wedding breakfast into an unexpected hub of joy and excitement.

Poor Aunt Muriel. She travelled all the way from Leicester to silently critique your floral arrangements, not to be mesmerised by a card trick that defies logic. And there’s always the very real risk someone might smile—and we can’t have that at a wedding, can we?

2\. They Could Steal the Spotlight

You’re the star of the day, the radiant bride or dashing groom. Do you really need the competition of a magician pulling doves out of hats and reading minds? Sure, your guests (and maybe even your partner) will be wide-eyed with amazement, but is that the kind of joy you’re willing to share?

Let’s be honest, though—hiring a magician means sharing the spotlight with someone who generates pure, unfiltered wow moments. And honestly, wouldn’t it be worth it to see your guests laughing and clapping in awe?

3\. You’ll End Up with Too Many Amazing Photos

If you hire a wedding magician, prepare for your photographer to capture some of the most genuine reactions of the day. Picture your guests with jaws dropped, your best friend mid-laugh, or your partner beaming after witnessing an impossible trick.

Of course, these vibrant, joy-filled moments might upstage your perfectly posed shots by the flower arch. But isn’t that the kind of magic you want immortalised in your wedding album?

4\. They’ll Be Far Too Entertaining

Most wedding venues are equipped for the basics—a DJ, a string quartet, maybe some mood lighting. But a magician? That’s a level of entertainment few weddings are ready for. A skilled performer engaging guests during cocktail hour, sparking laughter and conversation across the room, could turn your elegant reception into an unforgettable event.

It’s a risk, though—by which we mean your guests might actually have a blast.

5\. They Might Inspire Too Much Bonding

The thing about magicians is they have a knack for drawing people together. A great magician can break the ice between strangers, turning distant family members and old college roommates into laughing, chatting friends.

Next thing you know, people are swapping stories and forming actual connections. Group hugs, lifelong friendships—it’s a slippery slope.

6\. The Price Is Almost Too Reasonable

Let’s talk cost. Hiring a professional magician is surprisingly affordable, especially when you consider the joy and excitement they’ll bring to your big day. But maybe you’d rather spend that money on chair covers no one will remember. Or three extra helium balloons. Choices, right?

7\. You’ll Be Haunted by “What If”

Years from now, as you flip through your wedding album, will you wonder what could have been? What if you’d hired that magician? Would your guests still be talking about that mind-blowing card trick or the time Uncle Bob’s tie turned into a balloon animal?

Spoiler alert: yes, they would.

Final Thoughts

Let’s face it—hiring a wedding magician is the “worst” entertainment decision you’ll ever make. (Which, of course, means it’s the best.) They’ll amaze, entertain, and connect your guests in ways no other performer can. From the drinks reception to the wedding breakfast to the evening celebrations, they’ll make your day unforgettable.

So, are you ready to take the plunge and bring some real magic to your wedding? Because trust us, no one wants a boring wedding. Book a magician today and prepare for a day filled with laughter, wonder, and memories that will last a lifetime.

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strolling magic
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close up magician
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wedding magicians